FEMININE ENERGY, ENERGY REIGN

'The waters within are calm and serene yet they run profoundly deep. I feel the unfathomable vastness of the ocean and the mystery that lies in its depths. There is a yearning to know more and acquaint myself with the archetype that is older than time. I sense and know the stories of these women and I feel those who came before me.'

I want to dedicate this blog to the women whose cackle mimics some sort of wild animal, to the women with an insatiable sexual appetite, the women who glare deeply, deep down into the depths of their very being without breaking their stare. To the women whose intuition can smell the scent of bullshit a mile away. To the women who aren't afraid of their power, they bask and soak themselves in it. To the remarkable, unashamed, unconventional, untamed, imperfect, impenetrable woman. Are you there? 

Before writing this blog, I had written and was perfecting an entirely different piece of writing, but as ever I was called to write this. I always want to be inclusive with my writing as I am a human first and foremost. However, in this earthly realm, I came in the packaging of a woman. Not just in the capacity of my reproductive organs or a ‘female’ as I so often hear men calling women, (do you hear us calling you males? There are men and then there are boys.) Anyway, my womanhood and femininity is something I cherish deeply, I see it as a superpower.

Ladies, our very existence is met with resistance. No matter what they say or if they claim to want a 'strong' woman, they usually don’t know what it means to be in the presence of something so potent. Very few are sincere with this claim and those that are, are our allies. We were made to feel that we would be unwanted; last on the shelf if we didn’t sit down and shut up. The truth is they knew our power from the get-go because the power and intrepidness of a wild, sexual woman was and is uncontrollable. These women harnessed the power of the earth and ancestors and with that put the fear of God in weak men and meek women alike.

The most sinful thing a woman could do was be in touch with her sexuality. I don’t just mean sexual prowess, I mean the power we use to transmute and manifest from these faculties. This gateway needs to be open as we create with these energy centres, be it art, music, dance, writing, anything of a creative nature. This energy grounds us and connects us with the very nature of being woman; the makers and breakers of cycles.

I never thought about being an artist or writer, it was something that just was. I only ever saw it as a gateway to commune with myself and know that which stirs within. Painting and writing allow me to swim in the waters of the subconscious. However, I always remain very cautious, treading carefully not to drown in the enchantment of this knowledge. You must rear your head, and not become away with it as so many often do. Any information we receive is unique unto us and our experience but as I edge closer and closer to 'the one who knows’ she who sleeps in the abyss, waiting for us to awaken her. I wish to know others who have encountered and known this type of energy and its pull that I often feel.

As long as I can remember I've had an infatuation with mythology and in particular those that feature the underworld and darker aspects of the psyche. I’ve always had an affinity with this particular ‘gorgon’ whom we often mistake in the west as a monster or a scorned, detested woman.

I have seen women and deities alike in touch with their shadow passed of as weird, peculiar or ‘too much’ especially if it concerns a woman in possession of an unhinged type of power.

Medusa is the primal energy of what we call kundalini, she is the other. The unpalatable energy that pulsates through the cosmos before it is humanised so that we, rudimentary beings can understand a type of energy so primal that it has terrified people for millennia. Medusa has been labelled repugnant, malignant and a ‘femme fatal’... Just about anything to destroy her essence. Yet despite all that was meant to place fear in me about her it stirred a fascination instead and has guided me for as long as I can remember.

Turning men to stone was representational of freezing kundalini. A clever way in which to misinform the masses from the sexual serpent energy that is meant to climb our 33 vertebrae and permeate the 12 cranial nerves. Illumination they call it. We must find our way back to her and let her lead us back to our shadow selves as everything that comes to light is formed in total darkness.

I find the tale of medusa to still be so relevant now, as there is a multitude of ways we can analyse this. Medusa was initially a maiden, a very beautiful one at that. She was raped by Poseidon and with that enraged Athena, therefore, was turned into the venomous creature we know of today. What does this tell us? Beauty is a curse in a world where it is the only real currency?

I do believe that there is such a thing as a 'pretty privilege'. I also believe in the privilege it affords women who are beautiful and also the curse. Does anyone really have much interest in what you have to say? Do they take you or your talent seriously? Can they see beyond sexualising you? How does it feel to garner so much attention from men yet as you begin to age and you are no longer looked at or appreciated as you once were, does your worth deplete alongside your looks?

Science states that 90-95% of the universe is dark matter and dark energy, the rest is 'normal' matter which is every visible thing in the universe. This tells us that there are so many unknown and unknowable things that reside in the darkness and that because we cannot see them we do not believe in their existence. The same is for humans in my opinion. We have all these visible parts of ourselves. Be it our outward appearance, our clothes, the way we talk, laugh, smile....the way we move. All are very telling of our 'character.' Emphasis on the word character as that is exactly what it is.

This is the world of appearances and everyone plays their role. When the lights go down, the curtains close and the masks are off and we are finally left to sit in the dark alone with no one left to entertain. What does your shadow whisper? What does it hum quietly in your ear when you were too busy wearing the mum, wife or businesswoman mask? We often forget we are not just these things.

All human ingenuity and innovation come from within and thoughts that become ideas which grow and transform us and the world around us. Would we really care so much about physicality and place so much on it if we could see what swims in the swamps of peoples minds or who they REALLY are? How many would we deem truly beautiful? I believe this to be a woman's emancipation when they have eclipsed the idea that their worth comes from their beauty, desirability or sex appeal. We should not want for any of these, because this is not a duty of any woman unless that is her will.

There are so many other things as a society that needs to be spoken about, not the facetious, reductive headlines that plague the press! Why does the media always wish to condemn women and their choices, not the facts? Such as the unspeakable things humanity has done and continues to do, I think the truth is we are living in a huge mental asylum at current. Its almost so fucked up that you have to try not to consume yourself with it and live your own life to the best of your ability. Not adding to the suffering whilst actively trying to take away from it. As we cannot change the world unless we transform ourselves first.

This world we have created and are living in was not made to house humans. We are natural beings doing unnatural things, placing importance on things which have none. We neglect to nourish our souls, our mind. We walk amongst the spiritually blind. We drink, we smoke, we fuck the pain away, yet it always remains. We constantly try to fill these gaping emotional holes with a few seconds of pleasure.

I guess its why we spend such a large portion of our lives looking for something or someone to align ourselves with. Be it a religion, a cause, a culture, a sport, an idol, music, art or something that fills us with some sort of fulfilment. A higher power or more noble cause that makes us feel as though there is more to this life than just existing. This will invariably differ for everyone. Some adopt their cause, some seek it. Yet we all have one.

The thing I seek is authenticity, this can come in any embodiment and I will love it the same. I'm drawn to it. People who are nothing but themselves in the rawest form, before they are moulded with insecurities and expectations from family, society, friends, partners and so on. The ones who never succumb to the pressure of opinions or judgement.

Authenticity in humans is important if not imperative because these people and their ideas and style of living and thinking propel us into new eras. In fitting with my generation, I have to mention a certain songstress who did exactly that in my opinion. Since Amy Winehouse died we are living in the post-Amy era. Before Amy pop dominated the mainstream and now we have mounds of young women singing beautiful soulful, bluesy love songs from the heart. Natural, unique and individual women, who sing vulnerably about their pain, love and loss. Whose beauty emanates in every way from their being. THIS is what authentic art does, its a breeding ground for more. People want to hear it, they want to make it because it is that impacting. I'm seeing a rise of ephemeral, goddess-like women taking back their sexuality, being raw and singing from an honest place. It's a really beautiful time in so many ways.

Amy wasn't perfect nor did she claim to be, she refused to compromise herself or her art, and she didn't have the capacity for the pressure and stresses this world gave her because she was too real for it. She did what she did not for the hype or the fame but because it was necessary. A true sorceress. When women are in touch with that wild yet soft side amazing things can happen. Its like the most perfect harmony, when the polarities and extremes of a highly emotive person all collide yet intertwine in union to create something that leads us into a new age of femininity.

Unfortunately, Amy met the same fate as anything else too different to endure their time on this earth. When something is so rare it is hunted; desired by all but valued by none. When a human soul is pure, darkness wishes to embroil it as purity can’t survive in this world. The living conditions are subpar and the interference causes too much imbalance and dis-ease for souls such as these. Purity means to know pain and still envelope it with a lightness that cannot be shaken. It is something which can only be obtained by experience in this life and the last, that we carry forth into the next with the intrinsic understanding that purity does not mean to be clean and unspoiled. Its when the darkness has sunken its roots and wishes to devour you, yet you beam through its cracks with vehement and valour. You make the night your mistress and with those shards of light, you compose a revised image of incontestable strength.

The men in a woman's life will play an integral role in the sort of woman she will be or ultimately become. I find it difficult to write this without mentioning the man who made me who I am. Someone who never tried to water me down, or be less of the force that I am. Someone who actively encouraged all the facets of my being and believed in me when I couldn't see anything worth believing in. My father never feared for my fierceness and protected it at all costs because he knew a meek woman would not survive in this world. Thank you for teaching me to never settle for less than I deserve and thank you for raising me to the best of your ability.

It is my belief from all that I see around me that disrespect in relationships nowadays seems to be the norm. It is commonplace that we see friends settling for someone who is so obviously not adding anything of value to their lives and they solely wrap themselves in these relationships for security. I feel so many are women are undervalued and overlooked, that due to their partner's repetitive taunts about their lack of worth it tears away at their confidence. They are left believing the untrue words of a man who isn't fit to sit in the same room as them.

I always hear people saying that in order to know oneself you need to be in a partnership and whilst I agree with that, I don't agree that in order for me to 'know myself' I have to accumulate someone else's issues and problems and be the crutch that so many men need. Let us have it right, nine times out of ten it is the woman who is the one doing the healing and giving away her precious energy in order to fix her partner. I don't agree, that I should value someones well being who is supposed to love me, above my own. Why should I compromise my life, time and wellbeing when I am receiving so little support from my partner? Of course, this is the worst outcome for both parties and I know that there are so many relationships which are a practice of love, honour, truth and respect. A love which is equal and reciprocated and appreciated is hard to come by, but the fact remains that the most important relationship I have and will ever have is with myself.

I cannot sacrifice my precious time and energy on something in which I reap so little, time is a valuable currency and in these formative years in my life, I only wish to add richness to my being and character. Therefore in which case, I would rather wait and hold out. As when I do eventually give that time and energy to the person I love, it will be life-changing for us both, I wish to take my partner to heights they never knew they were capable of reaching, to soar together in any climate. The female energy when channelled correctly is so potent, that a union with a man of the same stature is truly something to behold.

With great shifts come growing pains. Old paradigms which simply do not work in this modern world anymore are being ruled out and the roles are ever-changing and more dynamic than ever. Change is difficult but necessary for us all, the shit that used to fly simply isn't anymore. Uncertainty can reveal itself in toxic masculinity and femininity but I believe we see the extreme cases before we regulate and achieve equilibrium. We need to truly understand as a population that the roles don't have to be so black and white. There is a plethora of colours to explore in correspondence with how we operate in this world, the blue-print for family, sexuality, work, ideologies is outdated and we need to break the shackles of the old ways so we can step into a new world.

This is the first time in history women have had so many rights and continue to fight for them. Even in places where women have been condemned and treated like secondary citizens we are seeing laws lifted that have thwarted them for decades! I feel and have always felt the power in being a woman, but more so in the unity that comes with every gender and identity having mutual respect for one another. We do not need to shame or tear down each other in order to make ourselves more visible, that only makes us as bad as those we are supposedly condemning, it makes us hypocrites and what is worse than that?

Nothing is worse than that, nothing comes from hatred, hypocrisy or jealousy. Know that you have something no one else has had or will ever have. Everything good dies when we compare ourselves to those who we have no comparison too, for you are you and I am I. Value your differences, your flaws, your shortcomings, your gifts, your quirks because it is exactly those things which compose and comprise YOU. Do not fall victim to assimilating or being anything other than yourself because that is an exact symptom of someone who hasn't yet accepted the beauty in their own being. Strip it all back and start again if you need too, exonerate yourself from the shackles of expectation and discontent and push your true being forward.

Happy International Women's Day!!!!!!