THE LANGUAGE LOCKDOWN

When making work a plethora of metaphysical ideas, thoughts and visions float to the surface, most of which I try to render into the work. However, these thoughts branch off and form questions, questions often left unanswered and even more curiously I wonder if anyone else out there is thinking about what I am? When you are in a continuous state of thought about the origins of being and the very nature of things you start to weave very deeply into the who, what, when, why and how.

Therefore I have reached a point where I would like to expand, and have a dialogue with like minds. My dear friend inspired me to write, but not just to write; to share. Writing, specifically poetry has been a pastime of mine for a while, its a way to amalgamate passing thoughts into a short cohesive piece of writing so I can further my understanding of self. Generally speaking, I seldom share this aspect of myself, but in the age of social media where we share everything perhaps its time to see if any thoughts and ideas of mine resonate with anyone else and begin a discussion? 

Unlike painting, which entails a myriad colours, shapes, marks, symbols, splashes, figures and so on. Words have a concrete meaning, yes means yes and no means no. When you see the shapes and letters that form a word you know instantaneously what they mean, their definition is known. Yet with painting you can say something with the stroke of a brush or the use of a particular colour. Regardless of technique the artist uses a language unique unto themselves, which will always remain open to interpretation. People see in paintings usually what exists within themselves. The artist will have their own story they wish to tell, but it is by no means wrong if someone identifies something entirely different from the work.

The language of imagery to me is one which is unparalleled, it is the language of the subconscious. The language of the gods; universally understood. Images are something we as humans have used as expression since the dawn of time and thankfully due to the nature of images we have been able to uncover much about our ancestors and their practices due to their primitive cave drawings and not so primitive hieroglyphics. Fundamentally art is about showing and not telling. 

The language we communicate with is a creation of humans, a fine tool of course, but have you ever felt like words just didn’t satisfy what you were truly feeling or wanted to express? Language is linear, it has a beginning and end. It moves like blocks. However the mind is indeed a wheel, and it needs circular motions to move into flow as everything proceeds in cycles. The entire planet, the solar system, animal kingdom, plant kingdom all move in cycles, there is no beginning nor end, just a continuum. So what is it about these ancient, tonal languages that allowed us to access different parts of the brain unlike modern western language? Sounds create a frequency and resonance that I believe allow us to tap into different forms of consciousness.

Words individually have their own meaning; they are grounded in this physical reality completely concrete in their nature. We can use them to express ourselves and to tell a story, but ultimately you cannot go beyond a certain point with words because language was forged here, it is bound to this this particular space-time continuum. So if you wish to breach the parameters of the mind, and unlock the thresholds of consciousness, do we believe that words can do so? I'm not sure….yet sound, and varying frequencies of sound and music allow us to enter different states of being. My question is what would happen if language were to open up? 

I had a somewhat transcendental experience recently whilst my flat mate was giving me a massage (it is important to note that she only plays music with a frequency of 932Hz and also 432Hz whilst performing her massages). During this hour I was completely relaxed and in a meditative state. The violin was introduced to the music and I instantaneously begun to cry. It brought on the strongest memories of my former years and I could see, touch and smell places that were prominent in my childhood, it was as though I was back there, in my child body…. I could smell that same musky smell that I would when I entered the church for my violin lessons, I could see the glint in my dads eye as he watched me play, I could feel his joy. I could hear the stones beneath my feet as I walked through the yard where I had my horses and feel the dampness in the air. It was literally like being attached to a virtual reality headset, it was the most unbelievable, surreal experience.

When I explained what transpired to a friend she said it was almost like time travel. Even now I can transport myself back to those exact moments. Therefore it begs the question if we can access memories so explicit and detailed from the past that we had totally forgot, can we do so but with the future? We so often hear of people imagining their life in great detail and bringing it into fruition. We have to believe whole-heatedly in that vision we have, feel it as though we were and are there, feel the intensities of the emotions as though it had already transpired. That is what looking into the future is if we can maintain that focus long enough to feel it in the very fabric of our being. 

I feel as though we as a people are cultivating an higher appetite for knowledge and information. Moving toward knowing ourselves and our needs, where certain patterns of behaviour we exhibit root from, why we are the way we are and of course the age old question, why are we here? The human mind and the fruit it bares, is something truly awe-inspiring. It perplexes me to think that nearly everything we encounter and experience in this reality begun as a singular thought or idea in the mind of a human. What is it to think? An intention? Hope? Or idea of doing or receiving something? If cultivated our thoughts can lead us to higher planes of existence. However sometimes it can feel difficult to escape our own thoughts, the most paralysing things we are told are often of our own minds.

I hate to say it but the majority of humanities thoughts are not their own, they are being unconsciously programmed every second of the day, it is not anyones fault but whomever is in charge of such things knows the importance of harnessing and controlling the power of the human mind. 

Once you start to consciously check in with every thought, its like an excavation of self. When I begun to do so I was in shock at what I found. I immediately noticed the language I was using toward myself, the self-deprecating thoughts, the way 90% of the time I was on autopilot. I was not using my mind for useful things, I was so detached and disconnected from myself I knew it was gonna take a while to find my way back. Before all of this I used to have this little voice in my head, (like everyone I’m sure) which when I was pushing the limit or taking the piss used to murmur in the background but due to all the other noise happening, I would rarely listen. Yet when I begun to check in and register each thought as they entered my mind, discard of what wasn’t useful and nourish and root the thoughts which were, that voice became so overwhelmingly LOUD, that when I started to diverge of the path that weren’t in alignment with me or what I should be doing it actually begun to just shout at me. It was like when I begun to declutter my mind of useless shit I made a clear line of communication for that voice which is I’m guessing is my better or higher self as they say.  

Now don’t get me wrong, I am no where near the self-control or self-mastery which I hope to one day obtain, but I am actively tending to the garden which is the mind. I am still a hot mess but a hot mess that now knows she’s one. What is very interesting however to me is that not only can we have an internal dialogue with ourselves but we can listen and perceive ourselves all at once. This process allowed me to understand the importance of words and more over language as a whole, I begun to look at it in a new light, we as a people are becoming aware that words do indeed cast spells. So what life will you speak into existence?

In the beginning was the word. 

So as I speak forth my truth to you, and have taken the decision to begin writing and sharing the thoughts and ideas that often lay dormant in my mind, it is important for me to address the narrative that has been sown within the depths of the collective unconscious, laced into our beings, these ideals have been placed upon us without our say so. Therefore challenging them can often be uncomfortable, but consciously deprogramming and becoming unaccustomed to our customs was never going to be straightforward, was it?

There are people whom enter into this world without the cloak of innocence and naivety. Some people who have simply come here to put all that they have learned in previous lives and apply it, there are a new species of beings that are literal gods walking on this earth; the world does not bewitch them. They may seem to have an unnerving sense of self, that is almost impossible to comprehend to the average mind. Not every one here is to find themselves, there are beings that come here with a specific purpose to raise the awareness and consciousness of the earth and then leave. They are angels in a sense, that have travelled from beyond what our feeble minds can imagine and inspire and propel the world into a new vibration. They send ripples throughout the planet to shake us and wake us up. These people that do not attach themselves to words, or let labels define them as they are outside the parameters of these words. How could someone whom isn’t of this world be defined by it?

Speaking of words, and words we attach to ourselves, shame is something which I know many people including myself carry with them on a daily basis. Shame about their body, their weight, their skin, their needs, their status, their sexuality, their jobs, their living circumstances…the list goes on. Shame about every little thing that makes us uniquely us. We continually compare and contrast ourselves everyday, striving for an unobtainable level of something, something we lack and need more of. Shame sucks up and dries out the creative juice and energy we need in order to create. Specifically women... WE are creators by nature, the source of life on this planet…. who do we need to charm, pacify or fuck to be granted worthy? Absolutely NO ONE. Self worth can only derive from the acceptance of ourselves, we will never move from the base thoughts that stagnate us if we continue to worry about what others are thinking, because the reality of it all is they aren’t thinking about you because they are too consumed with themselves. We have to broaden our horizons and step out in order to experience the beauty that life has to offer and to really be alive.

I wish to narrate an alternative way of being because I am surrounded by a cornucopia of powerful beings, whom inspire me every single day. Individually all a force to be reckoned with, formidable yet compassionate, in possession of erudition, humility and most importantly the biggest hearts overflowing with the utmost love for every being and creature they encounter. We are happy to live in and amongst the polarities of soft and strong, emotional and intellectual. For they are multifaceted, complex and layered. I think the beauty of the human life is the abundance of experiences and emotions we are able to feel and learn from. Whilst also holding onto the moments which were the building blocks for who we are. Those moments that stick with us throughout our life time, so poignant that we could never possibly be the same after them, they carve and upgrade us into new versions of ourselves leaving behind what no longer serves us and carrying forth a new set of eyes in which we see the world.

So knowing what I know, I now know that black is in fact white, you are in fact I and death indeed implies life.